A Goodbye to Chester Bennington

A SPECIAL TRIBUTE

BY DC CUEVA                     

■ @DC408Dxtr  @ TW / IG / YT

Thursday, July 20, 2017 is now the most recent day that I join those which I remember vividly in my memory bank for something memorable. Sure, it was a usual Thursday for me where my workday won't end until after 8 o'clock at night, though because of me having an aching back was one that didn't start at sunrise and had to call in and not go to work.
   Yes, this day was looked forward in one way for most by O.J. Simpson having his date with the Nevada Parole Department and being granted his release in the fall after his stint in jail and just after the Trial of the Century was brought back into the public spotlight by two high-profile TV series. And for me, there's all the blog work I look forward to covering the premiere of Season 30 of MTV's The Challenge, which will up here later today for those who are fans of that show.

It was when I woke up around 10AM PT from my long rest to browse my phone on what happened while I was asleep. There, a tweet from the celebrity gossip site TMZ, and then notifications from various news operations, came up. And it was there that the news broke of something that caught me totally off-guard and almost shook me: "Linkin Park lead singer Chester Bennington has died of a reported suicide. He was 41." For someone who rarely cries, for a moment I shed some tears as this news that no one saw coming had been reported as true, and this was no nightmare.

   My inner family circle don't have these moments of experiencing this kind of profound grief often, but three years ago both of our family dogs were put down, and my grandma passed away back in the Philippines after a long illness. It was also in 2014 that two members of The Challenge and Real World family and who had competed on Battle of the Exes 2 died: in thirteen days, Challenge legend Diem Brown lost her fight with cancer on the day after my birthday, and then on Thanksgiving morning Ryan Knight was found dead from an overdose.
   It's understandable that I have been working on this week's MTV Challenge posts with a heavy heart but have been able to press on in spite of this tragedy. Still, I've had a chance to reflect

It was thirteen years ago that I felt very privileged beyond anything else to be given a once in a lifetime opportunity: meet the band you call your favorite, have been a big fan of for a long time and for you love their unique style of music very much. I first discovered Linkin Park back in 2002 and instantly fell in love with their unique hybrid of rock, hip-hop and electronica with a group of guys who might have show a lot of angst in their lyrics and music, but off-stage felt like the group friends you go to high school and have fun with. And also, two of the guys - Mike and Joe - were of Asian descent and I can take pride in them and I sharing that heritage too.
   I have physical copies of all of their official and supplemental album releases and most of their music on my iPod. And even as I have branched to embrace the whole musical spectrum, my passion for LP hasn't wavered despite turning much of my attention to covering what I call the MTV Trifecta and the sports world. And after news broke of Chester's death, I went into my backyard's storage house, opened up one of the suitcases I've used for my trips and dusted off a rarely worn Linkin Park shirt I bought many years earlier and wore it with pride on what was, obviously, a tough day for LP fans.

Although it is painful that I'll never fulfill the ambition of going to a Linkin Park concert and seeing Chester perform live, the crowning moment of this fifteen-year journey with LP came on December 9, 2004, something I called in my DCBLOG post on it, my Ultimate Fandom Moment. That was when I got the chance to head up to a Best Buy store in Dublin, CA west of Oakland for a signing event just after they released their mash-up collaboration with Jay-Z, Collision Course. The day before the meet & greet, that album debuting at #1 on the Billboard charts, but the reason for them coming up to the Bay was for a brief national tour for a photo book on their world tour in support of their sophomore album, From The Inside: Linkin Park's Meteora.
   If you got to read that blog post, which I shared on Twitter and to my other inner circle of friends over on Facebook (don't ask, I keep that to invitation only), it was on a day off in between finals at community college, and things like babysitting had to be rearranged to allow all of this to happen since I first got word of this event more than a week beforehand. And this was one of those occasions where an opportunity to meet LP was open to the general public and not just to those who were part of the band's LP Underground fan club who usually get a chance to met the guys before each of their concerts worldwide.
   I arrived there after lunch and joined with other LP fans in hanging out and waiting all day for the meet & greet just after 5 o'clock. This was also after my 21st birthday, so this was also a belated birthday gift to myself and with that money I bought got a few CD's and picked up my copy of the From The Inside book and a wristband guaranteeing my spot in line. The day remains as vivid as any experience I've had in remembering what T-shirt I wore, what it was like outside with cars blaring LP songs as if I was at Shoreline, and the exact song that was played in the background the very moment I stood for my turn to walk up: "My Band" by Eminem's posse D12, and whose track "Lose Yourself" from 8 Mile which I had in my earphones earlier epitomized this golden opportunity.
   Then, Linkin Park arrived, and the noise from fellow fans around me was deafening, which was the last time that when I came home from something like that was when my ears was hurt from all of that. As you'd expect, I was feeling the goosebumps and the nerves of what was awaiting me, and told myself of making sure to keep calm and not foul this one up but reminding that this is not a dream but something that is happening in front of me. And also, when you were one of those who got to meet the band, on stage they are a dynamic force who can let everyone go off with their burst of angst, but off stage they are nice, friendly, down-to-earth and very appreciative of their fans.
   When my shot finally came, I had my book signed and told them my name... my actual first name being Dexter and it rhyming with the lead singer. It caught on with Chester and then with Phoenix and that moment of them uttering out my name as if they're my high school buddies still remains burned in my head as this my ultimate starstruck moment. It was just after that trip at the table that had to take a moment to reflect on that tremendous moment before my sister picked me up and headed back home.

Well, here we are just thirteen years later, and that surreal experience is coming back to me in the most unfortunate and unforeseen circumstances that now, as I wrote in my Instagram caption that it's still so hard to even comprehend that this would happen and of having to write this in the aftermath. The music world has lost, much too soon, a very awesome man who I had the fortunate chance to meet along with Phoenix, Mike, Brad, Rob and Joe on that winter's day. Every time I heard Linkin Park on my radio or on my iPod, those precious few moments I had there in Dublin still brought those chills I had. I still remember this past February watching their live performance on Facebook of the lead single off of One More Light, "Heavy" with pop singer Kiiara and that feeling was rekindled.
   Chester delighted us with his talent that was extraordinary and with lots of charisma, entertained us with his voice and broad vocal range, and charmed us with being someone who had a heart as big as anything and someone who was also caring too. For proof of that last characteristic, he flew across to Asia to help out and volunteer the victims of the devastating tsunami that took place just shortly after he and I met each other, all part of the Music For Relief charity project formed by the band in the aftermath of that tragedy across the Pacific. And obviously, he was a family man also, who saw him raise six children who will now spend the rest of their lives without Chester around.

Just after I posted my tributes to Chester on my social media platforms, a cousin of mine who lives down in the Los Angeles area where the Linkin Park guys call home wrote this to me: "You are the biggest Linkin Park fan I know. I heard of the news late today on my way home from work. I immediately thought of you. My heart goes out to you. I felt crushed and my heart sank when Prince died. I can only imagine how your feeling bec you actually had the opportunity to meet Chester. The world lost another talented musician. I got chills watching this 😔 so sorry for your loss ♥️"
   This was the second time in a few months that the rock world has had to deal with one of their own being taken to us too soon, and Wednesday was what would've been the 53rd birthday for a close friend of Chester's, Chris Cornell of Soundgarden and later Audioslave. He performed at his funeral earlier this year, and this came a few years after the untimely death of someone Chester idolized and shared a stage with many times, longtime Stone Temple Pilots frontman Scott Weiland.
   Those in the MTV community who I have become great friends with the past five years felt the same feeling as me when Diem and then Knight died, and you can't put into words the kind of enormous grief and emptyness that they went through back in November 2014, as it is this weekend for those who've spent their childhood or adolescence listening to Chester and the guys perform. Every time now that I listen to a Linkin Park song from here on out, there will be an emptiness that the man who I've grown up with and had met won't be with us anymore.
   But this also brings about how this untimely passing happened, and what should we do: if you know of anyone, either a family member or a close friend, who is thinking of taking their own life, please do whatever you can to get them help immediately. Something as simple as giving a phone call to a hotline for suicide prevention can make a world of difference and can save their life and realize that there are people who love you and do whatever they can to help you too.

The thoughts and prayers of me and those who follow this band are with his five fellow bandmates and best friends, his great family led by his loving widow Talinda and their kids, those who were lucky to call him friends and those who had a chance to cross paths with him... I was obviously one of them who was so fortunate. I get to join with fellow LP fans who are grieving right now and celebrating his life, his spirit and his music in getting to say this on behalf of all of them:

Chester, a big thank you for what you have brought us and giving us a chance to enjoy your music and, for a moment, to let your emotions out through this universal language called "music." We love you, and we will miss you very deeply and forever. Thank you.

- I AM DC

Ultimate Fandom Moment: Meeting Linkin Park

Until I joined Twitter last June, I've not had that many opportunities to interact with some of the most well-known people out there in the world. I did have opportunities back then as a kid: for two instances during the height of the 49ers dynasty years of the 80s-90s, I got to meet Roger Craig at a Fry's Electronics store in 1993 when he signed a fitness video. And on Halloween three years earlier, I went trick or treating and got not only candy but also a football signed by Michael Carter, back when he was residing in my hometown of Milpitas, CA. In middle school, I got to take a picture with the Stanley Cup at a Sharks charity event. And just a few years ago, during a vacation my sis, bro & cousins took to Las Vegas to celebrate a cousins birthday, we got to meet Joey Fatone from Dancing with the Stars and boy band fame when he hosted a show over there. But of all of those celebrity sightings - and those interactions I've had with many an MTV personality over the past 12 months, nothing matches what the celebrity sighting I experienced for myself on December 9, 2004. That was the night I had the tremendous opportunity to meet Linkin Park. Even though I've become a much bigger fan of the entire music scene since then in addition to being a Linkin Park fan, it's still a day I'm so very proud to have been a part of, and still think of it every time I listen to an LP song.

For fans of music and entertainment like me, at one time or another we've imagined that we could meet our favorite celebrities face-to-face. Sure, seeing them from a distance in the bleachers of a red carpet at a premiere or awards show is one thing; but meeting them in a festive yet intimate atmosphere of a meet-and-greet signing is another. It's a unique one-on-one experience that, to me, is only matched by having NBA courtside seats. But even as many stars continue to emerge in this big universe we like to call popular culture, so increases the odds of crossing paths with that one particular star (or stars) that you worship every day. In this instance, only a handful can turn that simple dream into a full-fledged reality. And I was fortunate enough to be part of that handful back on that December day nine years ago.

Those who've been to my social media sites might know that I'm a true music fan and the band I follow most is Linkin Park. I've been a fan of them since I bought Hybrid Theory in 2001, now owning all their albums, DVD's and other things LP. So, once I found out on LinkinPark.com that the Best Buy store in Dublin, CA would be part of a national three-city tour the guys would be going on to sign the book From The Inside: Linkin Park's Meteora just a week beforehand, I knew I wanted to take advantage of being there, especially since I didn't have a class scheduled during that Thursday afternoon timeframe. And because the book signing was open to the entire general public and not just to the LP Underground, this represented the one and only opportunity I can meet the guys without being a fan club member. After a week of persuading my parents and doing some careful planning with them and my sis in providing transportation and having someone to babysit my young brother (since all three of them were working at the time of the signing at 5pm), I was ready to seize the opportunity and take advantage of that one shot to meet them face-to-face.

On December 9th, I arrived in Dublin at 1:15pm after my dad drove a half-hour from my house. I went inside the store and, using money I got from my parents combined with some leftover birthday bucks (I turned 21 three weeks earlier; sorry kids, no drinks), bought From The Inside and Collision Course, which had debuted at #1 on the Billboard 200 chart a day earlier. I also bought some other CD's as well as a battery and film for my camera. After I went to a booth to get a wristband ensuring my book would get autographed, I joined some of you LP fans outside to wait in the afternoon sun in a line that stretched to the Pier 1 imports store next door. We eventually moved inside at 3pm to wait in aisles in the appliance section, adjacent to the signing booth located in the the satellite radio section in the back of the store (the blue circle area for those who regularly visit your nearest Best Buy). I spent the three hours of downtime listening to my CD player and taking pix of the atmosphere inside, not to mention hearing LP songs blare out of the windows of many fans' cars as if I was in the parking lot of Shoreline or HP Pavilion awaiting one of their concerts. I was also the one who answered any strangers' questions of "What's the line for?" and "What's going on here?," since i'm also very knowledgeable about Linkin Park, the music and the artists. I guess listening in my CD player Eminem's "Lose Yourself" seemed to emphasize this once-in-a-lifetime opportunity of meeting someone famous a few feet away, especially the band I follow on a day-by-day basis.

At 5:10pm, the LP boys came out of the back door where Best Buy installs the car stereos, and you can sense "Bedlem at Best Buy" (as I like to call it), with the fans screamin' and flashbulbs poppin' in the relative "madhouse" atmosphere (as one Best Buy employee described it, hearing it through my own ears). I did remain calm unlike most of that crowd. After all of that, I then moved through the line, even taking a picture of a fan's T-shirt that spelled Joe Hahn's last name wrong, reading "HANH" instead of "HAHN." When I saw the band at the table, I felt the standard chills and goosebumps inside me, saying to myself, "This is not TV or a magazine, DC. This is real, this is live, and this is happening in front of your own two eyes." I also had the same first impression of the band as the 1,000 people that were there: they're nice and friendly to their fans, reflecting their down-to-earth attitude offstage, even if they're one of the most aggressive bands out there onstage. When my turn to walk to the signing table finally arrived, I handed my copy of From The Inside to one of their two bodyguards for him to lay it down at the table. The big moment was when after I took Chester's picture of him showing off that mugshot killer smile for my camera (warning: the following may sound corny to you, so bear with me hardcore fans), this was what happened next:

- Me: "Hey, Chester? My name, Dexter, rhymes with your name." 

- Chester, as if he was part of my one of my high school cliques, then looks at me and says, "Dexter." 

- Phoenix - a.k.a. "bass player man" (circa Meteora World Premiere on radio) - does likewise and goes, "Dexter!" 

Never in my life had I felt starstruck then that moment when Chester and Phoenix uttered out my two-sylabled, six-lettered name, which is probably the only two-sylabled name that rhymes with the tattooed man LOL. Further on down the table - as D12's "My Band" was blaring out on the speakers, the guys signed the foreword pages of my copy of From The Inside (a spur-of-the-moment thing in page selection since I didn't get bookmark the page I wanted to them to sign - the page with their photos from the Meteora liner notes), while I was taking pix of them. Lastly, after Mike signed my page at the end of the table, I asked him which copy of the book was mine since there was plenty of them on the table. Mike told me which one it was and he & the other bodyguard pointed a couple of times to it, and then I gave them thanks. After I walked out of the signing area, I paniced a little bit in double-checked my book, but I found the Foreword page where the guys autographed the book and things were alright, except that I was a little overwhelmed in having met the band face-to-face and getting recognized by them, too. 

After all of that - and even rejecting a fan's request to have my wristband, I found my sister in the parking lot waiting for me after she got off from work nearby at the Ford place in Pleasanton. What's funny is that she asked me afterwards if the people we screaming "We love you Chester!" or "We love you, Justin!". I was quick to explain that it was "Chester" that the fans were chanting, given that there's a strong appeal of Linkin Park among the teen audience, even if I would estimate the ratio of the Dublin crowd to be just about a 50-50 male/female.

In the nine years since that December 2004 night, my passion for Linkin Park became even stronger afterwards. And although it's cooled off as of late as I've become interested in the broader musical scene (I'm a true music fan after all), that still remains. Besides buying their next three albums Minutes to Midnight, A Thousand Suns and Living Things, I kept for my records photos I took and a journal with the flyer, other pix of the meet-and-greet I got from fansites, the yellow wristband that I wore, even the sales reciepts from what I bought there. I've burned onto CD some of their concerts and radio interviews. I also have an LP wristband, t-shirt and the LIVE-8 DVD with their performance with Jay-Z in front of a million people in Philly*. And, I enjoyed the Fort Minor CD - it was really cool. And of course, the next time Linkin Park (or the side projects Chester and/or Mike have aside from LP) comes to the Bay Area for a concert, I will make an attempt to be in that audience.

Summing this up, it was an awesome pleasure to meet Linkin Park in 2004. I still look back at it as if was yesterday, most especially when I pass by the Best Buy on the way to my sister's house or whenever I watch LP perform or hear their songs. It was one of the most memorable experiences I've ever had and it's hard to believe it's been exactly a year since I experienced those five hours. In the long line of biggest moments in my life, it's only second to graduating Milpitas High in 2001 but definitely my biggest moment since that day in June 2001. For those few hours in the twilight of December 9, 2004, I was living in a dream that fans of music and entertainment like myself have always imagined in our minds but only a handful can have that dream realized: that would be meeting your favorite artist in the most-intimate of atmospheres - a meet and greet signing booth at a high-profile signing event. Having the band's tattooed frontman and bassist call out your name? That for me, in itself, is definitely something to behold.

- DC