Tuesday, March 17, 2015

DC ExtraTime: Jay's Emotional Moment

BY DC CUEVA                           

We are nearing the end of
 what's been an eventful season of The Challenge: Battle of the Exes II, as it heads towards determining the final three teams to compete in the final, and we just had the finale to an emotion-packed season of Real World Skeletons last week. Of course, we saw the game-changer known as Exiled trigger a big effect on the entire house that saw a preseason favorite head back into the game, a powerhouse team go home prematurely and one move change everything last week.
   But before tonight's episode, here on DCBLOG our focus is more on complementing the recaps and rankings and providing a unique look on this MTV world with stories that relate to its personalities. In this dedicated edition of DC ExtraTime, we'll look back at one of the most memorable and heartbreaking moments in Real World history featuring one of the castmates from this season, and how it relates to what happened in the lead-up to this Challenge.

The most dramatic moment of Battle of the Exes 2 right up to now occurred at the end of last week's episode when Sarah announced her intentions to send in the Exiled winners, Johnny Bananas and Nany, into the last Dome elimination against Leroy and Nia with a spot in the final and at least $15,000 at stake. If all goes according to plan, this will be a rematch of their Week 5 Dome battle that saw the upstarts take down the veterans in stunning fashion, and this time it will determine who will go into the final going for the big cash, and who will be left on the outside looking in. But lost in all this was who the beneficiaries were in being the one team other than Sarah and Jordan, and that would be rookies Jay and Jenna.
   We recently wrapped up season 30 of The Real World, the show that pioneered the reality TV craze when many of its viewers in its current generation were in kindergarten when it began in 1992. As much as the past two RW seasons have departed from the original 7 strangers formula and introduced unprecedented twists to the house, there are still elements of the old school format being present as if nothing changed. One of them is the show's great ability to documenting young adults going through those life-changing moments as they mature into young adults. And there's been so many of them in the two decades the show has been on the air.
   For the season that just ended, Skeletons had plenty of them in Chicago, from Jason becoming a father and his emotional meeting with his own dad for the first time, to Madison dealing with her dark, drug-ridden past. And last season on Ex-Plosion, we saw a pregnancy scare by an ex of one of the roommates. But the most heartbreaking moment of that season in San Francisco, and for that matter the show's current generation, was what happened to a likable guy from the Bronx who, a year after season 29 aired, finds himself in the final going for the big bucks in unexpected fashion.

There, before the twist of the exes moving into the house in the Bay Area was revealed to the roommates, they already had two budding house romances and dealing with a hurricane. But for one of them, they were not prepared for the saddest news of all that came from back home. That was when Jay received a phone call from his dad in New York that his terminally ill mom had died after being rushed to the hospital after a long battle with cancer.
   The emotion and disbelief Jay felt at the worst time of his life was palpable and heartfelt, and the support that came from social media was overwhelming. Unfortunately, this would turn out to be the first of three times in the past year that he would feel the pain of losing someone he was close with...the past two of which was shared with the entire MTV family just after many of them wrapped up filming Exes 2 over the summer.

Taken from interviews he did during while he was in San Francisco, and then doing a follow-up when the show was airing last year, after the break, Jay reflects on the most devastating news of his life, in his own words. Plus, my reflection on that moment and how it relates to the deaths many months later of Diem and Knight.


IN THEIR OWN WORDS: Jay

> His first thoughts on his mom's passing, from cast interview in San Francisco:
"My mom has cancer, and she's had it numerous times since I was a little kid. I didn't see it coming. I didn't. I really thought she could just stick it out. She dealt with it all her life, man. She had such a rough life. I just wish God could've picked on somebody else and not her so damn much. The only good outcome is that she isn't in pain anymore and she doesn't have to deal with it. So now, she can stay up top and just look over us."

> On the moment he received the news from back home in the Bronx, from 2nd interview while show was airing:
"That was definitely the worst phone call I've ever gotten in my life. It's just not something you ever expect. It's not something you can prepare for. And as you soon as you hear those words, 'Your mother didn't make it,' it's like, 'Wait, what?!' Like, you don't believe it. I still don't want to believe it."

> On his emotions, how it was captured on camera and after he got to relive it again on TV:
"There's so many emotions going through your head at one time, and on top of that, you got a camera in your face. It complicates things. Reliving watching this, it's great seeing her and it makes me smile, but at the same time, I want her to be here and she's not."

> On his list of phone numbers being ripped into pieces by a drunken Ashley, and how it affected how he tried to get in contact with his mom and family back home:
"We tried to piece it back together, and somehow, the one number we screwed up was my mom's number. In the end, I lost three days of talking to my mother. It looks like she intentionally went for my paper and did it. That's how it looked, but she says she was drunk and doesn't even remember it. So, I just...I don't even make of it, but either way, you can't take that back. That's why... even when she's drunk, yeah. But, you gotta watch what you do. So that stupid (move) turned something as big."

> On his roommates' heartfelt reaction to his loss and how they became his support system at the moment of receiving the sad news:
"I walked out of that room and everybody just had tears in their eyes. These are people that, I would have never known my entire life who just happen to be in the same situation. And we're so different, yet everybody, every one of them were just there to give me a hug, and I would have been screwed without them. I would have been lost without my roommates. I would've been lost without them."

> On his mom's long cancer battle and how he's been able to support cancer awareness initiatives whenever he can:
"She had breast cancer. Breast cancer spread, and she had breast cancer again. She got throat cancer, she had bone cancer, she got brain cancer, and then finally she passed away from liver cancer...or lung cancer. Lung cancer was what ultimately (claimed her). But any charity event and stuff like that, raising awareness...I am all about it. If there's anything I can do to help, I will help to make people aware and understand what's going on. I will gladly help. I just want everyone to help and understand how serious it really is. And the more money we can get to a charity, maybe we can finally get a cure or something that's gonna help."

> On his company Craze Watches, launched in his mom's memory:

"I started Craze Watches to help pay my mom's medical bills because it's expensive. And between her and me and everyone else, it was like, 'Let me try and help my best.' So, I started the company to help pay her medical bills. And now that she's passed away, instead of just doing nothing, I donate 5% of everything to a cancer foundation. That way, I am, at least, still in it for the cause and still trying to help out. As much as I keep saying that I did this for my mom, one of the hardest things is knowing that I did it for her and she's not here to watch me get what I got. So, it sucks. As happy as I am that I did it for her, and I know she's up there and happy for me, it's just...that's one of the hardest things is knowing that I did this for her, but she's not here to see the benefits. And to finally sit there and be like, 'Jay, you did it. You did.' That's all I want is like, 'Jay, you did it."

> On his reflection of his mom:
"I think now at this point, what's helped me the most has just, knowing that she's not suffering. She dealt with cancer for 19 years. So, the thought of she's suffering all the time and she's in hospitals and sick and everything, it's like, 'She's not suffering anymore.' She's in a better place and she's the reason I started the 'Real World.' She was the one always telling me, ‘You should do something like that! Get on it, you’re perfect!' And I said I had to finish it for her."




REFLECTION from DC

Above: Jay.
(Pic Credit: MTV/Peter Yang)
What we have seen from Jay on Battle of the Exes 2, his debut Challenge, has been overlooked by everything that has taken place in the course of this season, and in a way, the lead-up to it. He and Jenna have flown under the radar so much that now they're in the final in the same manner that saw Johnny Portland, Devyn, and Leroy & Mike have in past Challenges. And though many would argue that they don't deserve their place in the final, the both have competed in every mission well enough to not finish last, and they won the trivia challenge halfway through the season, becoming the only rookie pair to become power couple. It's with them in the final that gave me a reason to give Jay some justice to everyone and showcase this emotional story that he had in San Francisco, which had the same feelings that he had that his fellow MTV family went through last November.

Jay was the first person from his Real World Ex-Plosion cast who I got to interact with when he liked some of my IG pics just after he got home from his summer in the Bay, and he's always been the most likable, down-to-earth person of this group. It's also the case in Panama where, save for what we saw with him & Jonna and getting into words with Zach, he hasn't been involved in much drama. That's pretty much the way he prefers it, though he did have some drama in the City when his cheating scandal emerged once Jenna moved in with him, exposing the flirty, player side of him, being the emcee, club promoter and EDM enthusiast with a solid social media presence.

While my focus was on Rivals II airing at the same time, it was during filming of the season here in the summer of 2013 that, was where I spotted a couple tweets on Jay's twitter hub (which are always frozen during when filming takes place and only lifted in emergency cases or promotional purposes), that something very sad would happen once we saw this months later. On the day he found out that he was going to be on the show, we saw the great bond he had with his mom, Lucy Mitchell. But at the same time, she had endured a two decades-long battle with cancer of many forms: breast cancer, throat cancer, bone cancer, brain cancer, and lung cancer. So, when he left the Bronx for the West Coast, he had no idea that would be the last time he would see her alive.
   Then, two weeks had passed, and came the dreaded phone call that changed his whole life. All I could tweet was, "Oh dear. This is the worst possible news you could ever imagine. Nothing as heartbreaking as when a family member suddenly passes away." His dad called Jay to inform him that when she was supposed to go into surgery after being rushed to the hospital, dad's four words changed everything: "She didn't make it." Lucy Mitchell had just died, and for someone who never sheds any tears, the sudden news of his mom's death was the first time Jay had cried since he was five years old.
   After he hung up, instead of being with family back home when this occurred, he would have to turn to his newfound family of roommates for comfort in the worst time of his life, as they consoled him and shared in his grief. Everyone else made sure to be available for him, and they become his main system of support. A day after that all occurred, Jay decided to take some time for himself in making a last-minute flight back home to New York for a few days to attend to his mom's funeral, eventually returning to the warm reception of his roommates at SFO. As mentioned above, his mom wanted him enjoy his time in San Francisco in doing Real World, and he made sure on delivering on that promise to her that he would finish it for her.
   When I watched that, while I didn't shed a single tear like many others, I was surprised like everyone else that someone who's laid-back and likable as Jay would get the worst possible news of his mom's passing. For the way he handled that situation with the same kind of class and dignity made me respect him even more. As documented in my DC SocialPulse post for the episode entitled "The Departure," there was an outpouring of Twitter support for Jay from the RW/Challenge community and from fans, as well as creating a trending topic in #PoorJay and giving the show its highest episode viewership since the 2nd Las Vegas season. This was also the same feelings that the Austin cast dealt with ten years earlier when Danny's mom died suddenly, only that season social media wasn't as prevalent as it is now.
   As a way for him to honor her memory, instead of doing a one-time-only thing, Jay launched a customizable watch line called Craze Watches, originally as a way to do his part to help subsidize the costs of her medical bills. It's watches designed by him that customers can customize by color, size and style, and includes a white watch with a breast cancer ribbon in honor of her mom. For every watch purchased, at least 5% of all purchases go directly to a cancer foundation or to cancer research to help those affected by it. All of Jay's Real World castmates were given a watch, and many others in the MTV community from other RW castmates to those from Are You The One? have showed support for Jay's line by purchasing their own timepiece. Many of my fellow MTV fans have also gotten Craze Watches including webcast hosts Andrew Kirk and Ace Nichols, and my Ex-Plosion Fan's View subject Eric Ceballos.

We've spoken on here many times since the weekend of November 14 last year of how the MTV family came together not once, but twice in dealing with the passings of both Diem Brown and Ryan Knight 13 days apart after they competed on Exes 2 and taping had wrapped. It's them that rallied around one another in this time of remembrance for their fallen comrades that, when this finally concludes next week, will likely be the defining moment of this Challenge, more than for what has gone on in the season itself. Perhaps no matter who wins the final, the ones who will be most remembered are those two who were given a proper send off when they weren't supposed to when taping began last summer.
   During the prelude to Real World Ex-Plosion and then during the season itself, Jay had the chance to establish a strong rapport with so many in the MTV community. Among them: Diem, along with CT and Aneesa, joined him for his season premiere party in January in New York, while two months later he would party it up with Knight in South Padre, TX working on Spring Break. He would then take part in his first Challenge with the both of them, but he didn't have any clue that it would be the last time he would see them alive, just as it was when he left his mom to go to San Francisco. So, it was no surprise that Jay was among those who were most affected by Diem and Knight's passings.
   As mentioned here, Jay and the MTV family were not alone last year when it came to going through the emotions that come with losing someone you know. Our family's matriarch, my grandma, passed away after a long illness last summer, and we put down our two family dogs last year too. This feeling of losing a loved one is a feeling that my whole family hasn't had much in my lifetime, due to the great stability and relative good health that we all have in my family circles. But when it does happen, the feelings that come with it are hard to express with words and only visuals can tell the story themselves. It's on days such as this that, as has been discussed here many times since November, everything is put into perspective, and family should always be given first priority in that list of things we have.

As Jay enters the Exes 2 final, it's no doubt that this has been the most eventful 20 months of his life. It began with him being chosen to be on a newly-revamped version of MTV's longest-running show and culminating with him as a rookie with his ex girlfriend making the final in the most unexpected fashion possible. In between, he's not only watched himself on TV, but he's also endured the profound feeling of losing three people near and dear to him. Two of them were those he got to know from joining the select club of those who've been on a Real World or a Challenge, but the third was being the most important person, if not one of the most important people, in his life. While while you watch him tonight and next week, be mindful it's not just the entire MTV community that went through the sorrow of losing not just one but two of their own from this Challenge last autumn...Jay went through that experience personally with his mom too, and it was also captured on film.


For more on Jay's moment from Real World Ex-Plosion, check out this article at MTVNews.com and a similar post at Act.MTV.com, both of which feature interviews with Jay. Also, after that Real World episode aired Jay took to his YouTube channel to thank everyone for the overwhelming support from social media, which you can check out here, along with other videos too.

And, check out these videos: 
- And Brian Cohen (@BusDriversRoute) spoke to Jay after the episode where, in addition they also spoke about whether he wanted MTV to fly back home with him and the Ashley situation, all of which you can check out here. Brian also hosts his Challenge RHAP with Ali Lasher at robhasawebsite.com.
- New York hip-hop station HOT 97 and morning host Peter Rosenberg talked to Jay after the episode about everything that happened and more: youtube.com/watch?v=X3FopzZTI4k.

And to purchase your Craze Watch, log on to www.crazewatches.com, which are all customizable with 10 watches and are interchangeable with 100 combinations and range from traditional to house music designs. As mentioned, at least 5% of all watch sales go to cancer-related charities. And my feelings are that should Jay finish the final and claim at least $15,000, a portion of his winnings will also go to those foundations too.



Make sure to follow my social platforms for everything Real World, Challenge and All Things MTV. With Real World Season 30 now in the books, the homestretch of Battle of the Exes 2 will play out one hour earlier this and next week as the battle for the cash begins. Tonight sees the last Dome battle as, if things hold up, Bananas & Nany and Leroy & Nia square off for the last spot in the final in Norway to join Jay & Jenna and current power couple Jordan & Sarah.
   And for those Exes 2 live tweets, make sure to follow my dedicated live twitter hub, DCNOW at @DC408DxNow starting at 10 PM PT, and join the conversation at #DCChallenge and #DCNOW. Before then, my live tweet night begins much earlier as NCAA March Madness tips off with the First Four from Dayton, OH with tip time at just after 6:30 PM ET as Hampton & Manhattan and BYU and Mississippi kick off the blue-ribbon event in college sports. Along with all the action on Wednesday and the full tournament going into full swing on Thursday, I'm also live tweeting new seasons of Catfish, Survivor and Teen Mom OG with Jay's good friend Farrah Abraham.
   Of course, bookmark DCBLOG where, of course this weekend, we'll have the Action, Reaction & Interaction of this week's episode on DC SocialPulse, my signature episode twitter diary. If you haven't read it yet, my latest 'Pulse post also looked at how two members of Team MTV are dealing with bullying. Check that post out along with my ExtraTime posts on Nany and Wes, and my new DC FORUM post with opinions on Sarah's Exes 2 vote and the fight from the RW Skeletons finale.

As always, follow me on my Twitter & Instagram @DC408Dxtr for tweets, chats, alerts & pics, plus my Tumblr at dc408dxtr.tumblr.com. Thanks for joining me here for DC ExtraTime, and until tonight on DCNOW at 10PM PT and back here on the Blog, thanks for reading and talk to you soon.

- DC



From my Instagram @DC408dxtr: a collage of the moment from Real World Ex-Plosion of Jay finding out of his mom's death. (Screen Cap courtesy: MTV/Bunim-Murray Productions)

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